Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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