That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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