Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
