Tell her she can't have a vagina
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
