I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
