I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
