She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I love having hate sex.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
