Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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