1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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