can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
