I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
