Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
