You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
