dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
