This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
