I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
