He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
