Dual....:-)
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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