At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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