He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
