She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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