i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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