Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
