I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize