im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
birth control should be required to get into college
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
