quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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