I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
