I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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