and you said cock pushups were impossible
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
