East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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