when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
