I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
