Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
