I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
