32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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