i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
