I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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