I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
