HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
