Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
