also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
