tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
