i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
