ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
