So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the day after is always just damage control
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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