Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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