im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
