He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
