Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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