; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
