my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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