im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
